Songs of Innocence and of Experience
by Awelina
Summary: A reply to the "iPod 10 songs challenge," or something like that. NOT SONGFICS! I'm not a native speaker, so bear with me. Warning: dark themes, OCs, OOC, and lots of fluff. And suffering. And fluffy suffering. Rating: varying, but mostly M, just to be on the safe side. For further info, see Author's Notes! On hiatus for further notice.
1. Author's notes

Author's notes:

This is a reply for a challenge I saw on some websites. It went somehow like this: put your iPod on shuffle and write a fanfic for the first 10 songs that come up. You only have as long to write it as the song lasts and you can't rewrite them in any form.

But because I'm really bad with rules I changed some (okay, almost all) of them. I listened to the songs; I already have my list, but there are more than 10; and I work longer on them than the songs last (mainly because I'm not a native speaker, so the whole thing is a bit difficult for me).

THESE AREN'T SONGFICS! I only use a particular part of the lyrics as a kind of motto for the stories.

Moreover, I'm NO NATIVE SPEAKER, so sorry for any mistakes.

These will be SEVERUS CENTERED stories, simply because I adore him. The main pairing will be HarryXSeverusXHarry, but other pairings might come up. However, I'm not good with writing sex scenes, so there aren't likely to come up any.

The title of the songs will always be the title of the chapter, then comes the motto in the body of the text, and then the band/singer. I think it's pretty straightforward. :]

Last, but not least, the foreseeable **WARNINGS: ****AU universe****, OCs, slash!, possibly het!, horror, drama, angst, humour, fantasy, hurt/comfort, supernatural, romance, dark! themes, disturbing themes, self-mutilation, vampirism, blood & gore, mental illnesses, torture, and character death. **I think these are all, but I'm planning to add a warnings-line for every chapter.

I hope you'll like my stories, and now on with the first one! :]


	2. Fight them soft

"Soon they will be here to take me away from my home

I will use my garden army to hide you all from them."

Sóley

(This is the only song you just _have to_ listen to before reading. Please, do so, it's short)

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**I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters, I'm just a poor university student. Please, don't sue me. ^^**

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Chapter warnings: definitely M, AU, horror, mental illness, character death (not the main pairing), hurt/comfort, drama, torture, blood, gore. I think that's all, sorry if I left out any.**

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Harry stopped in front of a dilapidated wooden gate. He could feel even from that distance the strong muggle-repellent charms humming against his face, caressing him. Beyond the gate, on the property, was a huge garden with many plants of different size, colour, and in varying stages of bloom; some closer to each other, others at a farther distance away, forming a maze with their stalks. The scent of flowers was overwhelming: thick, sweet, and syrupy.

Harry was uncertain whether he should enter or not for he hadn't seen the man for several months. Well, since the Final Battle, really. And they hadn't been on the best of terms even before that. The Final Battle was cruel and horrifying, there were many casualties on both sides, but in the end everyone was focused on one spot on the battlefield, on Harry and Voldemort. After the long duel only one of the wizards remained standing.

And now, Harry stood before Severus Snape's house, or more like shack. While Harry was at the Hospital Wing recuperating from his injuries he asked Madame Pomfrey about the casualties. Many were dead, even more got crippled for life. However, Harry was most disturbed by the fate of his Potions Master. As it turned out, he had been a spy for the Light Side for many years and during those years had to bear with not only the not too gentle Death Eater meetings and consequent mental anguish, but with the hostile attitude of his supposed Light comrades, too. The arrival of the Final Battle was speeded up when at one of the Death Eater meetings Snape got ousted as a spy and taken as hostage. Nobody knew what happened to him in the following week while both sides were preparing for the last confrontation, but when they next saw him on the battlefield on his knees beside the Dark Lord, he looked lost and broken, with a slight feverish sheen to his eyes. By the time Harry awoke from his exhaustion-induced coma after the battle, Snape was already sent to a "safe place," as the authorities referred to it, so he could "recuperate in peace from the horrors of war." However, Harry knew from Madame Pomfrey that that was not the case. He knew that in reality, during that final week on the hands of the Death Eaters, Snape's spirit broke and his mind snapped. No healer could do anything to help him, so they sent him to a secluded house instead. This way they got him out of their hair, for no matter what he did to help defeat Voldemort during the years, they still considered him a murderer. They also achieved that with a few strong restrictions spells Snape was kept within the boundaries of his property, so that "he could not do anything dangerous to others while still being delusional," as the ministry put it.

So now, as I said, Harry stood before that dilapidated gate, but he still couldn't bring himself to enter. How would Snape react to him? Would he recognise him? Would he lash out at him? Would he hex him to a thousand tiny bits? Harry wasn't sure, but after another minute of procrastination, he willed himself to enter. He didn't make a full recovery and dug around in ministry papers for weeks to get the man's address, just to give up now! He reached out his hand and pushed the gate inside so he could slip in on the plot. The wards let him in without any resistance. The damn ministry! What if someone tried to hurt Snape? How could they leave him bound to a place where anyone could just waltz into?

Harry stepped forward and as soon as he got on the other side of the wards he could hear a curious sound. It was like small metal and wooden pieces rolling down a hill. He looked around and realised only then that there were wind chimes and bells in every shape, size, and from various material. Smaller ones hung from bushes, bigger ones from the trees, some were even on the terrace of the house. There were some hung several feet high, but some were close to the ground. Harry found it curious that the sound couldn't be heard from the other side of the magical wards. As he was thinking about the probable reasons for this phenomenon, he started for the shack and realised that the closer he got to the small building, the chiming, tinkling, and jingling got more and more frantic. He had to stop for a few seconds because he felt a prickling sensation at the back of his neck, and the many chimes were starting to creep him out. As he looked around the garden for any hint of the Potions Master, he saw a lithe shadow behind the trunk of one of the trees, but by the time he opened his mouth to greet him, the shadow disappeared in the bushes. He was just about to look for the shadow again, but his eyes got stuck on the tree. It was the biggest of all the trees in the garden and it was in full bloom, the little reddish-tinted flowers concentrated in long tufts hanging down towards the earth like a honey-scented waterfall. Harry was so entranced by the sight of the tree that he unintentionally took a step towards it between the other plants, with his hand raised like he wanted to caress the tufts, but a sudden voice halted his movement.

"Stop where you are." came the voice of his former Potions Master, but Harry could not pinpoint where it had come from.

"Hello?" he called in the general direction where he thought he heard the voice come from. There was no answer. The wind bells chimed even more frantically. "Professor? It's me, Harry. I've... well... I just wanted to come see how you were doing. Would... Don't you want to come out and have a little chat?"

At the mention of Harry's name, one of the bushes trembled for a second, but then all was still again. The wind chimes seemed to calm down a bit. Then, from behind one of the trees opposite Harry would have thought him to be, the head of Severus Snape poked out and visibly sized Harry up.

"Harry?" asked he cautiously while coming out a bit more from behind the tree. Harry could see half of his body and he couldn't help but think that his professor looked quite like a lunatic. He had a greyed nightshirt on which had holes all over it and was dirty from the soil in the garden and the leaves on the plants. His hair was longer than Harry remembered and was in uncombed disarray, though not as oily looking as it used to be. As Harry's eyes shifted more downwards he saw that the man was barefooted. '_He really looks like someone who lost his mind.'_

"Yes, it's me, Harry. Harry Potter. Do you remember me?" asked he in the end and looked back to his former teacher's eyes. They had a certain quality to them that Harry could not really place.

"No, I don't. I just sometimes dream about you. It's nice to actually have a name to a face. Harry." smiled Severus tentatively at the young man. Harry was taken aback, he never had seen his professor smile before. Snape saw his hesitation and the smile immediately left his lips. "Are you a bad man like the others?" asked he while taking a small step backwards in the direction of some thorny bushes.

"What do you mean "bad man?" frowned Harry. He didn't have a clue what Snape was talking about. And what was this "bad man" game he was playing? Snape wasn't a five year old, for Merlin's sake!

"There are many bad men, mister. They come here regularly to see me. They bring me food and check if I'm still alive or not but I usually hide from them in the bushes, because they like to hurt me. So you are not one of them?" asked Severus hopefully. Harry was startled by these news. So the ministry officials were hurting Snape? Moreover, why was Snape speaking and acting like a child? Then sudden realisation hit him: could this be how his mind was broken? But at least he seemed to be a lot nicer. As soon as this thought crossed his mind Harry chastised himself for being a bit glad that his former teacher lost his personality because of the horrors he went through in his former life.

"No, I'm not." smiled Harry at him. "And you can call me Harry, I'm not that old. Could we go inside your home so we can talk for a bit? I really only came here because I was worried how you would get along on your own here."

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, I should have invited you in. It's just that I feel much safer here in my garden between my friends. You know, the plants are like my family, they care for me just like I care for them. That's why I told you not to go between the bushes, they can be rather nasty." smiled Severus apologetically. In the meantime, however, Harry got more and more confused. Bushes? Nasty? What? He decided that he will just rather skip this bit of information.

Severus led him into the house and Harry saw that it looked just as shabby from the inside as from the outside. It consisted of a bare room with a kitchen area in one corner and a cot in another, with a table in the middle of the room. Another corner was separated with a wooden wall and Harry presumed that it contained the bathroom. There were opened, empty cans of food on the kitchen counter, but it looked like Severus only had one set of utensils and only one bowl to use. But at least there was a tap on the wall so there should be running water.

"Doesn't anybody help you with keeping the house clean?" asked Harry the man, who visibly flushed.

"Well, I tried to in the beginning but I realised very soon that I can't do it properly either way. I don't get any kind of soap for washing up the dishes or anything like that, so I figured I would just eat out of the cans. Saves me time, too. But I would like to have a bath with normal bathing soap once in a while, because doing it with water only can do only so much. So I stopped caring after a while. There is no one to see me either way most of the time, and my plants like me no matter how I look like. I don't know any housekeeping charms, either, but it wouldn't matter anyway, because at the hospital they took my magic away. I can't do any magic. But don't worry about it." tried Snape to reassure Harry when he saw the face he made at that information. "I got used to it by now. And I take care of the garden with my bare hands, so it's no big deal." and with that sentence he gave Harry such a big, happy, and innocent smile that Harry couldn't answer for several seconds. He got more and more frustrated with how the Ministry handled Severus' case and he didn't like it one bit.

"Would you like to have a bath now? I could conjure a bar of soap if you'd like, and clean the room a bit while you're at it. I'm a bachelor myself so I'm quite used to cleaning my apartment with cleaning charms." smiled Harry reassuringly and proceeded to conjure a fine-smelling soap for Severus when he saw him agree to the idea. While Snape was away washing up in the secluded corner, which really did turn out to be the bathroom, he did several cleaning and cleansing charms to get rid of the dirt caked into the flat surfaces, the dust, to clean the few dishes and utensils to be found, to clean and mend the pieces of clothing lying about on the floor and the bed, and last but not least, to freshen up the bed and linens themselves. By the time he finished with all that, Severus came out of the bathroom squeaky clean and still wet, not to mention stark naked. He handed his old shirt over seemingly unperturbed by his state of undress and when he spotted his clean pile of clothing he went about to get a new, long, white shirt to put on which reached his knees.

"If you would like me to I could comb your hair, professor. However, I'm not sure I'll be able to untangle all of it, it really looks like a bird's nest. I might have to cut it off." offered Harry the older man. Snape seemed to consider it for a few seconds but gave his consent in the end. He sat on the ground with his back to the bed and looked at Harry expectantly. Harry couldn't shake off the thought that his professor looked kind of cute like that, so carefree and open, not to mention nice. It wasn't particularly a bad thing that he didn't scowl and frown at him all the time, either, and didn't talk to him derisively. Harry thought that he could get used to this new Severus Snape pretty easily. So he conjured a comb and sat on the bed behind Snape, with his legs on both sides of him. As he started to carefully untangle the raven locks of his former teacher, he could see that Snape was drawing nonsensical patterns on his own pulled up knees and his posture suggested that something was bothering him. After a few minutes he finally seemed to come to a decision.

"Harry?" asked Snape quietly. When Harry gave out a little hum that he was listening, Snape's shoulders tensed a bit like he was bracing himself for something. "Do you hate me?" Harry was startled by this question but he tried not to show it in any way, instead he continued his combing. "Why would you think so?" asked he in the end. "Because in the glimpses I got in my dreams of you you usually weren't looking at me too nicely. And today when you saw me for the first time I saw that you weren't expecting me to behave the way I do. And you continue to call me "professor" or "mister", but I'm not your teacher. I might have been, but I'm not anymore.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with my confusion earlier, but you have to understand that I haven't seen you for months, much less talked to you, and the last time we did we weren't really close to each other. I won't lie to you, we didn't like each other at all." confessed Harry. He really hoped he wouldn't hurt his profess... Snape... _Severus_ with his words. A few minutes passed in silence and he was half-way through with the combing when he heard Severus speaking softly again.

"But I like you now. And I would like you to remember that I'm not the person you used to know. I know that there was someone else in my body before my _accident,_ but that person doesn't exist anymore. He's dead. Now there's only me." said Severus and Harry stopped his work for a second to consider the man's words. He really _was_ a different person. "So how would you like me to call you?" asked he in the end. At this question Snape turned back a bit and gave Harry another one of his big smiles. "Would you call me Sev, please? This way you don't have to get used to a totally different name, but it's still pretty different from the original. And I like "Sev", I like how it sounds." and with that Snape turned back to the front and leaned his head against Harry's knees. "Yes, I like it, too." said Harry and considered the fact that this man could surprise him time and time again. It must be a special talent. And he could not deny the fact that the man's presence felt really good after the long months at the sterile hospital, the polite yet detached proclamations of sympathy, and even before that, the months and months of Battle preparations, and strict Order meetings. No emotions, just business. In comparison, having a conversation with an emotional and apparently tactile Potions Master felt exhilarating. He resumed his combing and felt elated that it looked like he didn't need to cut the man's hair, because he really liked it the way it was now. Even after he finished he stayed seated where he was and instead started petting Severus' hair. The repetitive motion and the soft and slow chiming of the wind bells were lulling him and he felt drowsier by the minute.

"Want to lie down to sleep? You can stay for the night, I don't mind sharing the bed." Harry wanted to protest at first, but the soft sounds of the night and the sweet smell of the garden owerpowered him and he agreed to the proposition. Ha laid on the bed and saw Severus climb up next to him and cuddle close to his chest. Both promptly fell asleep.

It was several hours later when Severus woke up to the wild ringing of the wind chimes. His family was warning him of intruders. He got silently out of bed as not to disturb the still sleeping Harry and went to the window. A green tendril with huge thorns crept into view and he carefully broke off a thorn. He caressed the tendril in both apology and thanks and went back to the bed where the young man was close to waking up from all the noise coming from the garden. Severus lent down to one of the exposed feet and with a quick motion thrust the thorn into the big toe and pulled it right out again. Harry's foot twitched at the slight pain but his face eased into complete calm only moments later. Severus gave a loving kiss to his forehead. "Sleep well, Harry. I will take care of the bad men for you. I'll be back shortly." And with that he went out the door into the garden.

It was a cloudy night but once in a while the full moon poked out from the dark, silver rimmed tufts. Severus crept silently across the garden and the plants moved out of his way obediently while others moved in a way as to hide him from the intruders. The chiming of the bells masked the rustling sounds of his shirt and the sound of his bare feet. The full moon made his eyes gleam in an eerie silver light, but as the clouds moved all was dark again. He squatted down to touch the ground and conjured his magic to tell his little army to hide the shack from the black men. Severus smirked to himself: _No one _could take away his magic for good, it belonged to _him_, it was _his_. Of course, at first he didn't have any, but with time and the help of his family he started "regrowing" his magic. It will still take some time to get his full strength back, but he was patient, he could wait. At present he could do only a little bit of magic every few hours, but it was more than enough to handle these _pests_.

When he was sure that the cabin was safe from the bad men he whispered to the bush closest to himself and listened as the whisper continued on and spread rapidly throughout the whole garden. To his command every plant stopped moving and was instead waiting for his commands. The sound of the chimes slowly died out. He could hear some snippets of quiet talk or frantic whispering from here or there as the confused Death Eaters tried to find out what was happening around them. Severus grinned frighteningly. The vermin would never know what hit them.

When he heard the first wind chime go off he moved into action. He started in the direction he heard the sound come from and the bushes and branches leaned out of his way obediently while he petted this one or played with the leaves of another while he walked. As he walked by a bigger bush with reddish blue leaves his fingers trailed along its spikes and the bush shook its branch and dropped a single spike into his hand. He continued in the direction of the former sound while holding the spike reverently between his fingers, and after a few seconds spotted the lone Death Eater cautiously making his way between two trees. At Severus' sign a bush to the Death Eater's left moved suspiciously while he himself closed in on him from the right. As soon as the Death Eater looked the other way Severus pierced the man's side with the spike and moved right away. The man gave out a small cry of surprise and looked back but saw nothing in the dark. His companions shouted into the night asking what happened and he tried to answer but only got halfway in his sentence before he visibly staggered. Two Death Eaters appeared from different directions and were headed for the wounded man. They asked him what happened but all he could do was lie on the ground and gasp for breath. His companions tried casting several healing charm on him, but none worked. Soon the man was drenched in sweat and was writhing on the ground whining. Another few moments and his body was already convulsing and blood was gushing out of his mouth. His desperate cries for help turned into choked howls of agony and in another few minutes he stilled for good. His comrades were frantic and frightened. Severus smiled. All was going well.

Since the other two were already here Severus seized the opportunity and again whispered to his friends. An excited susurration passed from leaf to leaf as the information got passed on, and in the next moment both Death Eaters were grabbed by vines. One set of vines belonged to a gnarly willow tree, while the other to a Venomous Tentacula. The one poor soul trapped on the willow tree tried to fight back with all his might, hurling curse after hex after jinx at the tree, but it didn't have any effect besides angering the tree even more. As soon as it got a good grip on him he sent dozens of its slender branches flying at the unsuspecting man and skewered him like a shish kebab. By that time the other man was on the ground, crying, the agile and thick tentacles surrounding his body. He was pleading for his life to no avail. The tentacles squeezed, gently at first, then gradually with more and more pressure until the man's desperate sobs quieted and turned into laboured wheezing sounds. The squeezing didn't let go until eyes popped out, muscles and ligaments tore, bones broke, and internal organs were crushed. The smell of blood and other bodily fluids in the air was overwhelming.

Severus watched all this impassively. He sent his question out to his family and the answer was rustled back in more moments. There was only one Death Eater left, but that last one was clever and monitored his surroundings more attentively. At that moment the sound of another wind chime could be heard. Maybe not that clever then, after all. As Severus made his way over to the source of the sound he picked up a spade which was left outside after his latest work in the garden. However, when he arrived at the place he presumed the last Death Eater to be, he saw no one. The bells started to chime frantically in warning and Severus realised in that moment that he was lured into a trap. He could not go back, though, because as soon as the thought crossed his mind he was blown off his feet with a curse. He flew several feet and landed hard on his back with the spade still gripped tightly in his hand. The Death Eater came close to him and stepped on his bended fingers, crushing them, but Severus didn't give out a sound. He stared up at him with dead eyes when the man started speaking.

"I don't know what you have done to the others, but I don't really care, either. There were dumbasses if they let themselves be caught by a bastard traitor like you." snarled the intruder and spat in his face. Severus gave no reaction which angered him even further. He kicked his face and relished in the sound of bones cracking. But his pleasure didn't last long as a massive branch batted him in his guts sending him sprawling on the ground. He didn't even have time to get up after the attack when Severus was above him already, a mad glint in his eyes, the spade poised high above his head ready to strike.

"You will not hurt him, I will not allow it. He is my friend now. And you will leave me alone, too. I have nothing to do with any of you." and with that he brought the heavy metal head of the spade on the Death Eater's head down. And again. And again. And again. After the initial terrified cry of the killer-turned-victim there was only the laboured sound of Severus' breathing and the wet, squelching sound of tearing muscles and brain matter to be heard. As Severus slowed down the chiming came slowly to a halt, too. When he stopped, all was quiet again. He felt well. He saved himself from them, again. But this time, he saved Harry, too. They would have hurt him, but now they couldn't, because he had saved him. He knew inherently that _these_ were especially bad men. The ones that came during the day were just simply narrow-minded, who let off steam by picking on him. But _these. These_ were really trying to hurt him, trying to kill him, torture him. It was just natural that he tried to protect himself from them.

As a branch lolled before his eyes he realised that he had been pacing out. He thanked the bush his kindness and picked a big, meaty leaf from its branch, snapped it in two, and smeared the liquid that gushed out from within on his bruises. They started healing instantly. With a final fortifying sigh he bent down to the now basically headless Death Eater, put the spade on his tummy, grabbed him under the armpits, and dragged him to the other side of the garden, under the tree with the long tufts of small, reddish flowers. After he placed him under the tree he went back for the other three and brought them back, too, laying them next to each other in a neat row. Severus liked the row, they were quite the sight, and it looked pretty how they were all almost the same height. Maybe he would make once a pretty fence out of some of them. Hmm...

He took the spade and started digging the ground next to the trunk of the tree. It took a while, because he needed a quite big hole for the four bodies, and he sometimes hit bigger rocks and _bones_ with his spade. When he was satisfied with the size of the whole, he laid the bodies in it (he didn't just shove them in because they tended to tangle up in each other then, and the whole arrangement got just messy, and they took up a lot more space that way. It just wasn't worth the short lived satisfaction), and started to cover up their pile with soil again. When he was finished he jumped a few times on top of the small mound and shovelled the remaining soil under the bushes. With a whispered word to his silent companions, small plants and herbs grew out and hid the mound from view. Severus leaned on his spade for a moment admiring the view, while he wiped his sweating forehead with the back of his hand smearing some blood across it. He looked down at himself and frowned at his thoroughly bloodied shirt. Harry shouldn't see this. He closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could. He didn't try this for quite some time, simply because he saw no point to it. But now Harry was here! So he concentrated, whispered a cleansing spell, and elatedly realised that when he opened his eyes again, his clothes were clean again. Not crisp as Harry could do it that afternoon, and they definitely looked a bit limp and soggy, but still, they were clean.

He went back to the cabin softly whistling a tune he remembered from one of his dreams about his former childhood, pushed the blade of the spade in the soil effectively cleaning it, then went inside the cabin and washed his hands and face in the bathroom. When he came out again, he looked over at the bed and felt a warmth in his chest when he saw the peacefully slumbering Harry sprawled out on top of the sheets. He went over to the bed, climbed in beside the younger man, and pressed his face against the side of his companion's ribcage. When Harry perceived the motion in his sleep he turned on his side facing Severus and threw his arm over him protectively. Severus flushed with happiness and he, too, embraced Harry with an arm, holding him close.

"No matter how many times bad men will come to try to take me away from here, I will not leave you. And I won't let them hurt you, either, ever. I will protect you from them until you will let me. You are my only friend, Harry." whispered Severus softly into the other's chest and he, too, fell into peaceful slumber.

And outside in the garden the day's first rays of sunshine illuminated the garden's biggest tree's _crimson_ tufts of flowers, like many bleeding hearts.


	3. Fallen Leaves

"I hitched a ride until the coast  
To leave behind all of my ghosts  
Searching for something, I couldn't find a home."

Billy Talent

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**I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters, I'm just a poor university student playing with them. Please, don't sue me. ^^**

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**Chapter warnings: AU, some minor slash, nothing serious. More like general. Incorrect usage of commas. T.T Now on with the chapter :]  
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Severus stood before the house with a big bag in each hand. His house. His new home. At least he hoped it would turn into a home, because right now it was just an empty shell that needed to be filled. It was a bit old but in quite good shape, though practically bare on the inside, and it had running water and muggle electricity. There was even a lovely porch complete with a porch swing, not to mention the kitchen and living room windows facing the ocean. Now it all depended on him to make this small house a _home_.

The only problem was, he didn't know how. What did it take to turn a house into a _home_? Personal belongings? New paint? Fluffy, warm rugs? He couldn't know, as the only "homes" he ever knew weren't exactly like those described in books and by other people: the ones where you felt safe, calm, and cosy as soon as you set foot inside. His childhood _home_ hadn't really given him any happy memories, but the few instances when his mother gave him a small present for his birthdays, or the ones, when he and his mother smiled at each other conspiratorially when his father was asleep after drinking and his mother entertained him with small levitation charms. But calling that place a _home_? Not really.

The same could be said about Hogwarts. Well, you couldn't really call something a home where you were only a guest, no matter how long that stay prolonged. Not to mention the small devils who called themselves students. No, nothing could be called a _home_ where you had to look after other people's brats, supervise detentions in your nonexistent free time, and try to live up to the overly high demands of not one, but two megalomaniacs. That's right, no matter how much he loved Albus he was still a power-hungry old coot. '_Doesn't matter anymore, I'm over that particular period of my life. The Dark Lord is dead and so is Albus. I'm free to do as I please, I quit my job, and left my miserable life behind. This is the beginning of something _new._'_

However, after three weeks, he still didn't feel like he belonged in and to this house. The kitchen still looked cold; the living room, with its half-filled bookshelves, seemed like the unpacking had been abandoned halfway; his cupboards and wardrobes looked pathetically empty and his bathroom dark, damp, and gloomy. The only thing he truly enjoyed was to brew a hot cup of tea, sit on his comfortable sofa, and look out over the ocean. During the third week of living in his new house a knock on his door disturbed his now customary cup of tea. He put the cup down and went to open the door. He was greatly surprised by the identity of his visitor when he saw him.

Harry stood there on his doorstep with a murderous expression, bag in hand. He went into the house without asking for permission, and with a few waves of his wand unpacked his bag. Instantly books, clothes, shoes, socks, and other knick-knacks filled the air as they searched for their proper place. As Severus looked around after everything settled down, he noted the now almost filled bookshelves, the few but precious photographs on various flat surfaces, the shoes next to the entrance door, and the black-and-green pepper and salt shakers on the kitchen counter, which he once bought for the young man when he learned that he loved cooking and was even quite talented at it. It was in that moment that he surveyed his Harry-filled house that he realised: this was what was absent before. This was what he longed for: to come home after a tiring day to the delicious smells wafting out of the kitchen area, to creep up behind and apron clad Harry and see him cradling the salt shaker in his palm with a small smile, then putting his long arms around his lover's waist to make him cry out in surprise after which he would kiss the indignant frown away. Severus was brought back from his reverie by a sharp slap on his face.

"How could you do this to me?" asked Harry with thunderous emerald eyes, hand still raised. "How could you leave me there alone in the infirmary, even before I could make sure that you were alive after the battle? How could you act as if nothing happened between us in the previous months and go on your merry way just to buy a house so you can live in this godforsaken place? How could you leave without a backwards glance?" by this time Harry wasn't able to hold back his tears which slowly ran down his cheeks only to drop on the floor when they reached his chin. He wiped them away furiously. Severus could do nothing but stand there in his shock. Did Harry really love him that much? It couldn't be.

"But don't think that you're so clever, Snape." spat Harry. "And I hope it doesn't even cross your mind to try to get rid of me again. No. I will stay with you, even if I have to chain myself to you or to use a permanent sticking charm so you can't run away. For your information: I'm. Staying. With. You. Forever!

That was all it took for Severus to step closer to the younger man and embrace him tightly. He buried his face in the other man's neck and breathed in his unmistakable scent. _Home._

"I didn't think that you would want to stay with me after you defeated Voldemort. We only grew closer while we trained for bringing down the Dark Bastard, and were thus in close proximity, in the first place. I thought that after accomplishing this Herculean deed you would move on to a more suitable love interest. You even said once that I was the safest to go out with out of all your acquaintances because I was a skilled warrior and could look out for myself. So I figured that after the danger was gone there was nothing to hold you back from looking for someone else.

"Severus," said Harry softly while running his fingers through the man's hair. "I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my words that way, I didn't mean anything like that by them. I love you, and I wouldn't leave you for anything. We really are fools, aren't we?" laughed the young man and shook his head in disbelief.

"Yes, we are." smirked Severus and then captured his lover's lips in a tender kiss. "I really wanted a home for myself but no matter what I did, something always felt alien about this house. But now that you're here I know that what has been missing was you." Harry flushed red from happiness and embarrassment from this admission. He nuzzled his lover's neck and sighed dramatically in his neck.

"So we will live in this house in this godforsaken place then, huh?" asked he and accompanied it with a small, playful chuckle. Severus gave a genuine smile himself.  
"No, Harry, not a house. A _home._


	4. hiatus

*Author's Note*

Dear All,

first of all I'd like to say thanks to revengerufus. Thank you for encouraging me, it meant a lot :]

Regarding my story: sorry folks, but it looks like I won't be able to continue for some time. I got accepted into my master's degree course, so now I'm super busy with university. I have drafts for some chapters already, but I just don't have the time to elaborate on them. Maybe during Autumn or Winter break I'll have the time for it, but not before. But don't forget about me, because I have an awesome idea for an "Epic Snarry Epic" set in the Middle Ages.

With lots of love,  
Awelina ;)


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